Saturday, July 25, 2026

Description

Alright you soggy degenerates, mark your calendars for 7/25 because we’re abandoning the concept of “trail” entirely and embracing our true destiny: floating aimlessly down the Green River with beers and poor judgment. 📍 Start: Flaming Geyser State Park 💵 Hash Cash: $15 🛟 “Trail”: absolutely none 🌊 Actual activity: tubing the river like semi-feral river otters 🐇 Hares: TWAT & Salt & Pegher Bring a durable tube capable of surviving rocks, sticks, and your life choices. Cheap pool floaties from the dollar store will become environmental storytelling. If you don’t have a tube, let the hares know ahead of time so we can try to provide one for you. Expect: floating drinking heckling possible unintended river docking maneuvers at least one person yelling “ON-ON” from the middle of the water for no reason 🔥 On-after will be at Casa de Salty Twat and will include food, drinks, and a bonfire to help dry out your pruny hash bodies afterward. Important reminder: this is NOT a walking trail. If you show up in hiking boots ready for marks and checks, you have fundamentally misunderstood the assignment. Why are we posting this so early? Because we want an ACTUAL turnout this time instead of the same six half-minds awkwardly making eye contact while trying to pretend “small and intimate” was the goal. So invite people. Bribe people. Shame people. Drag your favorite degenerates out of hiding. We want a full river of Tainties floating downstream like a trashy parade of poor decisions. More details to come once the hares pretend they have a plan. ON-ON 🍻