Saturday, April 18, 2026

Description

Hare: Today is Monday Directions: We’ll be teeing off at High Noon inside Stanley’s Sports Bar at the Sharks Ice Center, because nothing says “elite athleticism” like starting a golf tournament indoors next to an ice rink. Comment: You are cordially, and questionably, invited to the SVH3 Anal 420 Masters Tournament! The training season is over, your tolerance is dialed in, and now it’s time to tee off against some of the finest drinkers the greater Bay Area has ever reluctantly produced. Team formats are simple: Eagles: 2‑person teams Birdies: 3‑person teams Tigers: the brave (or unhinged) souls who go solo in pursuit of the legendary Green Jacket Ride‑sharing or bringing a designated driver is highly encouraged unless you plan on adding “DUI” as your 20th hole. Expect 18+1 holes in one day, so wear comfortable shoes unless you enjoy suffering for fashion. And don’t forget your finest Caddyshack‑inspired attire, argyle, visors, and questionable plaid are all strongly encouraged. Do not be late. Missing even one hole disqualifies you from winning the coveted 420 Green Jacket, and no one wants to explain that kind of shame at circle. Come swing, sip, and survive. Fore!